


Oh Connor

by GrandR



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Connor is precious, Hurt/Comfort, Kevin is a Good Boyfriend, Panic Attacks, connor auditions for a dance school, soft connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 06:32:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19126537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandR/pseuds/GrandR
Summary: Connor can’t breathe because he messed up his audition his one chance and now he can’t breathe and he needs Kevin because he cannot breathe





	Oh Connor

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is left rather ambiguous and it’s up to you to decide if it’s a good “oh Connor” or a bad “oh Connor” because I’m here just to torture you all :D 
> 
> {brief mention of Connor getting shot based off my last fic where surprise surprise Connor gets shot so if you want more backstory on that go read my other trash thnxs love y’all}

Connor races off the stage, pushing past people, the tap of his shoes too loud in his ears and he couldn’t breathe, and the walls were closing in, and he just had to get out and then suddenly he was kneeling on the grass outside the theatre desperately gasping for air, hands digging into the ground beneath him because he couldn’t breathe because he messed up his chance and he fucking messed up and his vision was getting blurry from tears or lack of oxygen he couldn’t tell because all he cared about was the fact that _he could not fucking breathe_  
Then suddenly there was a large warm hand on his back and someone kneeling in front of him calling his name and it sounded so familiar but it was so far away and Connor desperately wanted to listen to this voice but he couldn’t fucking breathe and then the hand on his back disappeared and he whimpered, honest to god whimpered, at the loss of warmth and comfort but then the hand was on his cheek and forcing him to look up and there was a face crowded close to him and it was too close and he couldn’t breathe but.  
Oh.  
Connor knew that face, he knew those brown eyes and that soft brown hair.  
It was Kevin, his Kevin, kneeling on the grass in front of him. His pants are gonna get muddy from kneeling Connor thought but then he realised that Kevin was talking, saying something to him and he tried to listen but someone was sobbing loudly and he couldn’t hear Kevin over the crying, wait he was sobbing? He brought his hand up to his own cheeks feeling the wet tears, he was the one sobbing he had to stop because he had to hear Kevin because Kevin was trying to help him

  
_Come on Connor breathe with me, come on focus on me sweetheart I’m right here_

  
And that wasn’t Connor, that was definitely Kevins soft warm voice. He closed his eyes tightly and reached out, pressing his hands against Kevin’s chest and trying to focus, just focus on controlling his own breath, not listening to anything other then Kevin’s string of comforting words and the feel of the others heart beat and the rise and fall of the others chest. Just focus on breathing like Kevin and when he had that under control he could focus on anything else but for now he just had to remember to how to fucking breathe.  
It took a while but eventually Connor could breathe somewhat normally again, he could feel where his knees met with the cool wet grass, he could feel Kevin’s hands gently moving through his hair and as much as he didn’t want to move he knew he had to get up. He pulled back slightly and opened his eyes looking up at the taller man  
“There you are” Kevin said softly, a small smile on his lips  
“Sorry” Connor hiccuped, his throat felt dry and sore and his voice was weak and shaking. Kevin quietly shushed him, pulling him in for a proper hug  
“Why don’t we go back inside, it’s freezing out here yeah?”  
Kevin’s voice was so soft and soothing, Connor nodded along not trusting his own voice to reply. Kevin helped him stand on shaky legs, leading him back into the foyer of the theatre, sitting him down disappearing for a moment before returning, kneeling in front of him with a bottle of water.  
Connor didn’t move for a moment, prompting Kevin to gently take his hand  
“Come on love, have some water it’ll make you feel better”  
With trembling hands he reached out taking the water bottle, he drank almost half of it in one go not realising how dry his mouth and throat were.  
“I messed up” the words fell out of his mouth, his eyes filling with tears again. Kevin sat quietly waiting to see if Connor would continue  
“The tap number, they taught us all in groups and then we got up to do it and I messed it up and they’re not going to let me into this course if I can’t even do a stupid dance number and it was my one chance to get in here Kevin and I-” his voice cracked “-I fucked it up” he dropped his head as more tears slid down his cheek, how could he be so stupid-  
“Connor, Connor come on look at me” he raised his head not even noticing his breath had sped up again, he took a few deep breaths  
“I wanna go home” he said quietly, looking pleadingly at Kevin “can we just go home”. Kevin sighs  
“You know I don’t think we can. This is your one chance right? To get into the school you want?” Connor nodded reluctantly  
“Well then Mr McKinley I don’t think going home is an option, I think that you need to go into the bathroom, wash your face and get back in there and show them how it’s done”  
Connor looked at him almost disbelievingly  
“Kevin I cant-“  
“This is coming from the guy who managed to look after 10 19 year olds stuck in the middle of Africa, this is coming from the guy who was shot in the shoulder and then the next day walked into the village to check to make sure everyone is okay”  
“Kevin-“  
“Connor McKinley you tap danced your way into every district 9 elder and villagers heart, you tap danced your way into my heart. You need to go in there and tap dance your way into this school you hear me?”  
Connor chuckled slightly, taking another sip of water he nods  
“Okay”  
“Okay?”  
“Yes Kevin Okay”  
Kevin smiled and pulled him into a tight hug  
“Go in there and show them that Connor McKinley is a bad ass who doesn’t quit”  
Connor stood, running a hand through his hair flattening it down, he wiped his eyes and finished the rest of his water. He started towards the auditorium doors. Kevin grabbed his hand spinning him back around, pressing his lips to Connors  
“I love you” he whispered smiling  
“Dork” Connor replied, walking back into the audition.

Two weeks later Kevin walked into their small apartment, exhausted after a long shift. He stopped noticing Connor sitting at the kitchen bench, a letter sitting opposite him  
“Connor?”  
“I can’t open it Kevin, I can’t”  
“Does it say-“  
“Yeah”  
“Do you want me to-“  
“Please”  
Kevin walked over, picking up the envelope, ripping it open and pulling out the notice inside, eyes scanning over it  
“Oh Connor...”


End file.
